Summary: Several years after Buffy seals the Hellmouth, Sunnydale suffers a zombie problem.

Spoilers: Seasons 1-5, up to "Spiral". In this fic the final episodes of season five, and none of 
season six happened. Why? Because this fic was written between "The Body" and "Spiral," 
mostly.

Status: unfinished.


Buffy The Vampire Slayer : 2011

Sunnydale, California, 2011. Willow and Tara bought the magic shop from Giles when he retired 
to England. In 2004 Buffy sealed the Hellmouth shortly before going to grad school in NYC, so 
he felt free to take up his singing career overseas where appreciated that sort of thing,
Willow and Tara were having a typical day doing inventory. Willow held up a jar of newt's eyes, 
and said, " We only have two jars of newt's eyes left. We should order more. But then, we only 
sold one jar last month, so maybe we should hold off a little longer. What do you think we 
should do, Tara?"

Tara looked up and smiled vaguely "Whatever you think is good, Willow."
Willow slammed the jar onto the counter. " Whatever you think is good, Willow " she repeated 
in a mocking tone. "Damn it, Tara, don't you ever have an opinion about anything?"

" Of course I do!"

" Then why do you always say to do whatever I want to do? What if I wanted to raise the dead in 
the basement?" Willow shouted.

Before their argument could escalate, Anya breezed into the shop. She picked up the jar of newt 
and said. " If you want more money, you should order more of this stuff." She failed to notice 
that Willow and Tara were glaring at her. "The shop looks good. How's your small person?" She 
asked, referring to their four-year-old son.

" Laurel is good. He's starting preschool soon. How's your family?" Tara asked.

" Xander is well, as are Adeline, Neva, Austen, Edan, Worth, Quillan, and Xander Jr." She said, 
rapidly firing off the names of all seven children.

" I don't know how you and Xander do it." Said Tara. " Laurel runs circles around us, and he's 
only one little boy. I can't imagine having four more like him and two girls too."

"Xander has them on a tight schedule. He says his army training gave him the idea. I did not 
think he was ever in the military, though." 

"He wasn't. Well, he was a soldier once, but only for a few hours one Halloween." Willow said.

" Ok. It works out well. Xander looks after the small people while I sell houses for a lot of 
money. I'm glad Mr. Giles taught me how to sell things."

" I still find it hard to picture Xander as a house husband." Willow said, shaking her head.
" You would prefer to continue thinking of him as a guy who lives in his parents basement?" 
Tara asked.

" Good point."

Anya snapped her fingers and said. " I knew I had a reason for coming here. Xander said we 
should visit Dawn."

Willow and Tara nodded. Ever since Joyce's miraculous resurrection, Dawn was afraid to be far 
from her. Dawn even chose to go to Sunnydale U rather than go to one of the Ivy league schools 
that she'd been accepted to. Not that they blamed her.

" Let's bring something." Willow said picking up a fancy candle. " This is nice."

They all still found it strange that Joyce had died. When it had first happened they were all so 
shocked that they'd believed it to be the result of the brain disorder that Joyce had had. Later, 
when Glory gloated about the death, they knew that had actually been her doing. Before Buffy 
killed her, she'd forced Glory to bring Joyce back. It was the only positive thing Glory had ever 
done as a Goddess. 

Anya borrowed the phone to call Xander, asking him to drop the troops off at his mother's then 
met him at the Summer's house. They were greeted by Joyce who insisted on making them 
lemonade. Dawn was thrilled to see them, and Willow felt guilty for not seeing her more often, 
but it was different going to the house since Buffy left. 

They were all laughing about something when there were screams outside. They all ran to the 
window and watched someone smash in the window of her own mini-van and crawl out, leaping 
on a biker. The cowering biker covered his head when the person threw a cell phone at him. The 
attacker then lurched off.

"Now, that's something you don't see every day." Said Xander.

" Was that a… was that a Zombie?" Willow asked. Before anyone could answer, another person 
driving a mini-van crashed into the first one, and started to transform in front of their eyes.

" When the neighbors act strange, and they're up to no good, who you going to call? The 
Buffster. Someone give me a phone." Dawn handed him a phone without a word. 

**

Dawn tried to convince everyone not to bother. "Come on guys, is this situation really that 
strange? I mean, a couple of people turned into zombies, but so what. This doesn't mean that 
there is going to be an epidemic of zombies or anything, right? We shouldn't just be bothering 
Buffy for no reason like this. "

"Dawn, look out the window. One of the zombies is hunting your neighbor's poodles. Isn't that 
sufficient enough to worry about?" Asked Anya.

"Dawn, how come you don't want us to call your sister?" Joyce asked.

" Well, it's just that we haven't seen her in so long and…"

" You are right, it has been a long time. Adeline and Neva were still babies the last time we saw 
her. Xander and I were having sex often then." Anya said as Xander made a cutting motion with 
his hand to shut her up. " We still have sex, though."

" Um, thanks, Anya." Willow said. " You know, I was always surprised that you and Xander 
didn't end up with a baby before you got married, because you used to tell us about your sex life 
like this back in the old days…"

" Oh, we couldn't. That was one of the conditions of me being punished by turning into a human. 
No children until I fell in love and married. They were afraid I'd raise a daughter as a vengeance 
demon if I had one without being married."

" Would you have?" Tara asked.

" Maybe."

They looked up when they heard Xander saying "What…wait…what do you mean." He looked 
at them and shook his head. " She said ' I'm a buyer now, not a slayer' and hung up on me."

" Now what?" Willow asked, and no one answered.

Buffy stared at the phone after she hung up on Xander. She felt slightly bad about it, but she shut 
that door behind her years ago. After the evil loch ness monster tried to eat everyone in 
Sunnydale she'd discovered how to seal the Hellmouth permanently and she'd done it. Then she 
left. There had been nothing to keep her in Sunnydale besides her mom and Dawn, and she was 
sure that they could look after themselves. After years of being the slayer instead of a normal 
person, she was finally happy with her position in the corporate buying a world. Xander having 
seen a couple of Zombies didn't really mean that the Hellmouth wasn't as permanently sealed as 
she though. Did it? There could be all sorts of explanations, not that she could think of any at the 
moment. A News cast about the strangeness of 12 mini-van accidents being reported in one town 
in two hours did little for her piece of mind.

Spike grimaced at Xander and said " Bloody hell, not you again. You'd think a bloke could relax 
in his crypt for a few years without being interrupted by you damned people all the time."

" Nice to see you too, Spike."

" Go to hell. What do you want?"

" We've got a little zombie problem-"

" You want me to help you hunt zombies? Not bloody likely. They give me the creeps."

" We want Buffy to help us. But she refused."

" And this concerns me how?"

" Come off it Spike, everyone knows you still have a thing for her."

" Oh so you all think I've been sitting here pining for the slayer? I have other things to think 
about than that blond wench."

" I see you still have the shrine." Xander said, pointing into a corner. 

" I, uh, never got around to tossing it out. And what makes you think I could do anything to get 
her here? It's not like I was her hero Angel, or anything." Spike said, looking jealous. " Why 
don't you go bother him instead?"

" Now that you mention it…." Xander said, suddenly getting an idea. 

**

Xander returned to the Summers' house, and told them that Spike wasn't going to help them. " 
But he did suggest we 'bugger off, and bother Angel instead.' That has some possibilities. Dead 
Boy is all about protecting innocents. We might be able to get some help from him. Does anyone 
have a number for him?"

" No, but I think I can reach him." Willow said.

Angel was about to reach for a dozen eggs when his beeper went off. He pulled his hand back 
quickly, and fumbled for the beeper, worried that it might be his young client who was being 
stalked by the Michael Jackson demon. He swore quietly to himself when he realized it was just 
a Sunnydale number. He stalked back to his apartment, sighed, and dialed the number.

" Angel?"

" Yeah. Who is this?"

" It's um, Willow."

" How did you get my pager number?"

" Technically, I didn't. I knew you must have one, with the whole protecting the innocents thing, 
so I cast a spell. The hardest part was getting the spell to dial '1' for long distance. "

" You cast a spell on my pager. Great. What did you want? I was trying to buy eggs when you 
called."

" What were you buying eggs for? I didn't think vampires ate eggs."

" We don't. I was....getting some to dye for the neighborhood's Easter egg hunt. But that's not 
important. Why are you bothering me??" 

" Sheesh, you vamps are all so touchy, lately. Well…We're having a little problem. You know 
how Buffy sealed the Hellmouth?"

" I heard about it."

" The seal seems to be leaking."

" What do you mean?"

" There are Zombies…"

" Zombies?"

" Yeah, about 40 of them in the past 5 hours…they're sort of scary looking."

" What does this have to do with me?"

" You, um, protect the innocents and all… Ok, Buffy won't help us. We hope if she finds out that 
you're in Sunnydale, she might relent. Please Angel?"

Angel sighed, and agreed.

By the time Angel and Cordelia arrived the next night, there were 94 known zombies wandering 
Sunnydale streets. Xander opened the door and said, " It's about time you got here." Cordelia 
merely glared at him.

" Very tactful." Dawn muttered.

Angel waved his hand, and said " You know, travel at night, keep a low profile."

Trying for levity, Xander asked "How have my favorite blood suckers been?"

" Fine."

" Cordelia, I just wanted to tell you that I think what you did is so romantic. What with becoming 
immortal so you could be with Angel," said Willow.

" Thanks." Said Cordelia, " I'm sure I care."

" Xander, you are right. She could have been a witch." Anya said brightly.

" You know Xander, that's the sort of thing I remember about you."

" Oh yeah?"

" When I think about our relationship, it makes me glad we broke up. Angel has something you'll 
never have."

" Fangs?"

" A clue."

"I hate to interrupt the pleasantries, but maybe we should talk about the zombies. They've eaten 
all the neighbor's poodles, and now they're trying to take down their garage."

" There's just something about the Summer's neighbors that the zombies just don't like." Said 
Xander. " Maybe she called them 'dirt breath' I hear they hate that sort of thing."

" Anyway, there have been 94 cases of ordinary people turning into Zombies since yesterday 
afternoon." Said Willow.

" Are there any common symptoms?" Asked Angel.

" Well, they all drove mini vans while talking on cell phones."

" And you can tell zombies from people who usually do this how?" Asked Cordelia.

**

Dawn quickly got tired of Xander's and Cordelia fighting, so she went out into the kitchen to get 
herself a drink, thinking that it would make them a little more bearable. She was starting to make 
herself a Tom Collins, when a scrapping noise by the back door got her attention. She turned in 
time to see a gray arm thrust through the door's window and fumble at the lock. She screamed 
and grabbed the nearest thing at hand. 
 
When they heard Dawn scream, everyone rushed into the kitchen in time to see Dawn beating on 
the zombie with the toaster. After she hit a hard a few more times it turned and lurched back 
outside. Dawn threw down the dented toaster and slammed the door closed. 
 
" Did the zombie try to attack you?" Willow asked. 
 
" No," said Dawn. " He was trying to pick me up, and I didn't like the line he used. Of course he 
attacked me!" 
 
"This is bad," said Willow. " They haven't tried breaking into people's houses before now. What 
if they try to hurt children? Our kids might not be safe." 
 
"My babies." said Xander, then looked embarrassed. " Well, the zombies are only in Sunnydale, 
right? So maybe we should send the kids somewhere else. My grandma would love to have them. 
The kids are lively, and she could use some excitement." 
 
A half hour later, Xander and Tara returned with all of the kids who then proceeded to run 
riotously through the house. " You put those plates down! Stop touching the Summers' things, or 
you're going to get it!" Anya scolded. "This would be more threatening if I was still a demon," 
she lamented. 
 
Cordelia watched the kids as they ran by and did a quick mental count of them. " I thought 
Xander and Anya had seven kids, but there are eight of them." 
 
" Oh. One of them is mine," said Willow. 
 
" Really? They all look a lot like Xander..." 
 
" Um, well...Since Tara and I are a couple we needed help having a baby, so Xander 
volunteered." 
 
"Oh, so Xander helped you with the artificial insemination process. That was nice of him." 
 
" Um, yeah. That's what we did. Does anyone else want a drink?" Willow asked, looking nervous 
and hurried out of the room before they could answer. 
 
Cordelia turned to Angel and said "you don't suppose she and Xander....I mean back in high 
school there was that time ...nah."

" Xander and Willow? That'd never happen." 
 
Xander gathered the kids up, and they actually seemed to listen to him. " Kids say good-bye to 
mommy" Xander looked teary as he held his youngest and said, "I'm going to miss the little 
guys, especially this one," referring to Xander jr. The older kids didn't seem to notice his 
favoritism. Laurel felt left out, and looked like he was going to cry until Willow and Tara hugged 
him. 
 
Joyce smiled and said, " I always thought it was nice that you and Anya named him after you." 
 
" Yeah, it is nice to have the youngest named for me." Xander agreed. 
 
" You mean the last now." Anya said, cryptically. 
 
"What do you mean by that?" Xander asked, looking worried. Anya just shrugged. "We're going 
to talk about this when I get back, Anya."

Turning to the kids he said. " OK troops, forward march!" 
 
As Xander buckled the kids into their seats, he talked to Angel. "Now this is a man's van. Holds 
sixteen people. Not one of those wussy mini-vans." 
 
Angel just nodded. " Who's going with you to keep the kids in line until you get to your 
grandmother's?"  
 
" Dawn volunteered. Actually, she said 'I'll go with you, I can't stand Cordelia.' No offense, but 
she rubs some people the wrong way." 
 
" She takes some getting used to, granted." 
 
" You and Cordelia, together forever...I feel for you." 
 
Dawn ran out and hopped into the passenger's seat. " Ready to go?" 
 
" Yup, ready to go. Angel, good luck getting ahold of Buffy. We'll be back in a few hours." 
 
When all the kids starting crying for a candy, Angel said " I don't think I'm the one who needs all 
the luck." 
 
**
 
Things in the van went well, the screaming kids notwithstanding, until they neared the site of the 
old Sunnydale High. Even though the new high school had been opened 15 years earlier, people 
still avoided the site of the razed school. Nothing at all had been done to the site, because for 
some reason no one had ever been interested in buying it, even people who knew nothing of the 
mayor's transformation at graduation. 

The eeriness of the site was not lessened at all by its being surrounded by abandoned mini-vans. 
It was heightened when Xander caught sight of a still form in the grass. He was about to ask 
Dawn if she saw it too, when a few zombies lurched over and picked the person up. Dawn stared 
hard out the window. "Xander!" she whispered. " We have to do something to help that person!"

"We can't help him." Xander whispered back.

"Why not!" she hissed.

" Well, from the way his head is lolling on his neck, I'd have to guess that he's beyond our help."

" You mean he's dead??"

" As a doornail, looks like."

" I thought they were only killing animals."

" Someone should have told them that."

Xander gunned the engine, wanting to get as far from the unpleasant scene as possible. Dawn 
glanced back, miraculously, all of the kids were somehow sleeping. She wished that she was able 
to too. After a few minutes, she found herself half-asleep, at least until the van abruptly came to 
a halt. She didn't have to ask why, the road ahead was made impassable by several mini-vans 
parked across it.

" It's the town-line, "said Xander. "Guess they don't want anyone to escape."

" But what are they doing? Why are they doing in Sunnydale??"

" I wish I knew. Maybe we should ask them?" He said, as he pointed as the figures lurching 
towards the van. The zombies had things in their hands, Xander noticed, shortly before the van 
was pelted with whatever it was that the zombies were carrying. Xander was already trying to 
reverse when the zombies attacked the van. Several of the zombies grabbed ahold of the van as 
Xander shot it into reverse. Everyone screamed when they heard a hollow thud noise. 

" Did I run one of them over?" Xander asked as he straightened out the van and sped back 
towards town.

Dawn craned her head back, "No, they're all fine."

"Then what was that noise?"

" I don't know."
As they neared the Sunnydale cemetery the van started to sputter and stall.

" Oh shit. I know what that noise was now."

" What?"

" Since we're out of gas, I'd say they managed to put a hole in the gas tank."

" Now what do we do?? They're everywhere!"

" I can only think of one thing…"

Spike was standing in front of the mirror singing " With a rebel yell she cried more-" when there 
was a sudden pounding on the entrance to his crypt. Bloody hell, who's bothering me now, he 
thought. " Just a minute!"

When he swung the door open he saw Xander and Dawn each holding two little children, and 
four bigger ones herded before them. " You again, Xander? Sod off."

" Spike, you've got to help us. There are zombies out there, and they're killing people."

" So? What's that got to do with me? Why should I help you?"

" Does letting you stay in my basement ring a bell?"

" Oh, so since you helped me, I should help you?" Spike seemed somewhat surprised by the idea. 

" Well, All right, but don't let your brats touch my stuff."

Spike wandered off into a dark corner for a moment, and came back lugging an armful of 
sleeping bags. "They look tired. They can sack out in these. They're new, I swear." Xander 
gratefully settled the kids into them.

" Spike, where did you get them?"

" A few months ago I ran into this chap who offered them to me so I wouldn't bite him. I said 
ok."

" But why?"

" I like the idea of camping, even though I probably won't go. Besides, the crypt gets cold 
sometimes, and the old slab is sort of hard on the back…"

" Well, thanks for taking us in."

" Yeah, whatever. Don't get too comfortable, I want you out of here tomorrow."

…